UNDERSTAND

Only when we understand the realities of intimate partner violence against men (IPVM) can we alter that reality for those suffering in silence.

IPVM: Statistics

  • 46% of victims of IPV are men.

  • 800,000 men are abused by an intimate partner each year.

  • 1 in 4 men are physically abused.

  • 1 in 7 men are severely physically abused.

  • 1 in 10 men has experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner.

  • 1 in 18 men are severely injured by intimate partners in their lifetimes.

  • 1 out of every 19 U.S. men have been stalked.

  • 48.8% of men have experienced at least one psychologically aggressive behavior (being kept track of by demanding to know his whereabouts, insulted or humiliated, or felt threatened by partner’s actions) by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

  • 4 in 10 men have experienced at least one form of coercive control (isolation from friends and family, manipulation, blackmail, deprivation of liberty, threats, economic control and exploitation) by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

  • 1 in 20 men are killed by an intimate partner.

  • Fewer than 20% of men tell police or health professionals about the IPV they live with.

Over the decades…

  • IPV against women and men remained stable between 1997-1992

  • IPV against women declined 61% between 1993-2004, but IPVM in that same period only declined 19%

  • IPVM impacts men across the globe. Studies conducted in other countries show similar results.

    United States

    33.6% of men report they have been victims of IPV
    34% report psychological aggression
    29.8% report coercive control
    21.4% report severe physical aggression–hair pulling hit with fists, beating, burning, and/or choking
    46.1% of IPV victims are men

    Canada

    In 2014, more men than women were victims of IPV
    10% of men were physically injured

    United Kingdom

    9% of men (or 1.4 million) experienced IPV
    30% of victims of IPV are men

    Australia

    7.8% of men experienced IPV
    35.3% of victims of IPV were men
    16% of men experienced emotional abuse

  • Myth: IPV means physical abuse.

    IPV is more than physical violence; it is multifaceted. It can be those violences most commonly associated with domestic abuse: verbal, physical, abandonment, and neglect. While these can occur in IPVM, more often IPVM is psychological, leaving no physical evidence, and comes in the form of coercive control and manipulation.

    Myth: Men who are abused are also abusive.

    While some relationships are dysfunctional where abuse is bi-directional, the majority of men do not respond physically to IPVM as they have been taught not to strike a woman and/or fear the consequences of their reaction (named the perpetrators and/or arrested)

    Myth: Scholars are not studying IPVM.

    While more attention and scholarly work focuses on IPV against women, the number of published articles on IPVM is growing each decade.

    13,312 articles between 1990-1999

    45,604 articles between 2000-2009

    63,357 articles between 2010-2019

A victim of intimate partner violence against men sits alone and holds his shoulder

IPVM: Causes

Whether the abuser is male or female, the causes of intimate partner violence (IPV) revolve around power, fear, intimidation, control, and submission.

Abusers are often less educated, aged 18-34 years old, low income, and struggle with mental health disorders.

Often abusers have…

  • been abused by a family member as a child

  • poor role models for resolving conflict

  • a low frustration tolerance

  • dropped out of school

  • low self-esteem

  • chronic unemployment issues

  • experienced an unplanned pregnancy

  • mental health issues like depression, anxiety, paranoia, hopelessness, borderline personalities

  • jealous feelings and thoughts

  • poor health

  • lower income and/or struggles with poverty

  • a history of corporal punishment and trauma

  • prior arrests

  • issues with drug use, especially alcohol

When an abuser in intimate partner violence against men (IPVM) has been made to feel unimportant, unessential, or powerless, whether real or imagined, the abuser displaces those feelings into physical, emotional, and mental violence. While physical violence can occur, IPVM abusers often rely on psychological tactics.

Man looks out a window searching for answers to intimate partner violence against men

IPVM: Why men don’t report

  • Denial

    • Men minimize IPV to avoid the social stigma tied to their inability to protect themselves

    • Men refuse to see themselves as victims; they see their partners as ill and don’t recognize that they themselves may need help

    • Men believe they are strong enough to take it and stay so as not to lose what they love (partner and children)

  • Shame/Embarrassment

    • If there is physical abuse, men fear being laughed at, humiliated, or being accused of being the abuser

  • Fear

    • Stigma of being weak

    • Being laughed at

    • Scorn/ridicule

    • Addressing the situation and/or leaving might jeopardize relationship with partner and children

  • Not believed

    • Many who could help men believe IPV is only male to female

    • Dismissed by hotline, first responders, and/or counselors

  • Culture expectations

    • Men are raised to be strong and protect themselves and respectful toward women

    • They stay to protect their children 

    • Men have earned the limits of IPV and think they can withstand it

    • Men believe they can solve the problem themselves

  • Retribution

    • 73% of men receive threats–false allegations of being the abuser

    • 56% of men had false allegations made against them. 

  • Lack of resources

    • To leave, separate, or divorce

    • Support from family or friends

    • To prove innocence if falsely accused

  • Relief and reward at the end of the abuse and the hope that it will end